It's Not A Snog Box!
by Queen of the Beasties
Summary: After accidentally bumping into two people from the Doctor's future, Jamie pokes fun at the Doctor for something they overhear his future companion accuse the TARDIS of being. They also get a surprise visitor on the snog b- ahem, TARDIS!


"For the hundredth time, you hairy legged highlander!" snapped the Doctor exasperatedly, pounding on the console in annoyance at his companion's snickering. "My TARDIS is _not _a snog box! I don't care what you heard that young lady say back there!"

"But, Doctor, you heard as well as I. And you've got to admit, she was a pretty lassie, and that man you said was to be you one day coudnae take his eyes of her, could he?" Jamie nudged the Doctor playfully in the ribs, and added, "Or, should I say, _you _couldn't take your eyes off her!"

"All the same," said the Doctor evenly, albeit with an air of brimming impatience, "My TARDIS is a sophisticated piece of machinery, designed for the scientific exploration of knowledge, _not _for canoodling at the console!"

"Whatever you say, Doctor," said Jamie, although he continued to grin like a cheshire cat. As he began to walk out of the room to get himself some supper, he started to whistle, a tune that sounded curiously like "I Wonder Who's Kissing Her Now," which made the Doctor curious as to where he had picked it up. He made a mental note to start to keep his futuristic possessions out of Jamie's reach - most notably his iPod.

As Jamie shut the door, leaving the Doctor alone, the Time Lord thought back to their surprise encounter with those two young people he had deduced were from his future; the man's taste in fashion could only ever be recognized as his own. The bow tie and suspenders alone gave it away like a big flashing arrow, as well as the uniquely fond yet sad look his future self had given Jamie that could only have come from one person; someone who clearly missed his best friend. As for the girl, she couldn't have been much older than Victoria. Despite this, she stood with her head high, projecting a sense of maturity and an air of leadership that had the Doctor questioning for a moment which of the two was really in charge. It was only as the two stormed off after (literally) bumping into Jamie and himself that they overheard the companion say "Well, it appears that it's not just the girls you take into your snog box, then, Doctor!" to which his future self replied, "Stop it! _I__t is not a snog box_!" And Jamie had refused to let the matter go ever since.

Just as the Doctor was assessing exactly how much he would object to his TARDIS someday turning into a snog box, he heard a sound like a rush of air in his ear, and, jumping in surprize, he spun around on his heel to see that a woman was now standing in the room with him, someone he did not yet recognize. She was tall and curvy and had a head of neverending hair that was all curls. On her wrist was some sort of watch that had all of her attention, up until the point when the Doctor yelled, "What?! Who?! Who are you and what are you doing in my TARDIS?"

The woman looked up and jumped, herself, a little startled, and said calmly, in a confident, flirting tone, "Whoops. Sorry, sweety. Seems that I got the right coordinates but the wrong time. Which one are you, then?"

"Which one am I?" repeated the Doctor rather loudly, who was not nearly as relaxed as his visitor seemed to be. "I'm afraid I don't know what you mean."

"Ooh, must be an earlier one, then. Third today, I'm afraid." She slapped the watch-like gadget on her wrist, as if it were the cause of her troubles. "How many regenerations have you gone through?"

"Well, one, madam, if you must know, and I don't intend on going through any more, thank you very much! Nasty, uncomfortable things, they are!

"That they are," said the visitor with a smile that made the Doctor suddenly feel oddly uncomfortable. "Well, can't stay and chat, I'm afraid. I've got a dinner date I simply can't be late for, so if you don't mind…"

Trailing off, the woman stepped up to the console and, reaching past the Doctor, began to type in coordinates without hesitation, as if she owned the place. The Time Lord did not slap away her hand away, as had become a habit with Jamie, somehow afraid of what the consequences might be if he did.

"I'll use the TARDIS to shift me forward in time a couple hundred years. A bit more reliable than this old thing," the stranger said, gesturing again to the gadget on her wrist. "I've already bumped into the wrong you twice. One was rather nice, and quite dishy, but the other could have been a bit more polite to his visitor, especially when that visitor is soon to be his wife in a matter of a few centuries. Oh, well. I suppose one mellows with age."

The Doctor was barely listening, his eyes fixed on the gadget on the stranger's arm that reflected in the artifical lighting under his nose as she continued to type in coordinates. "Is that a vortex manipulator?" he asked.

"Yep. Rubbish way to time travel, but when you haven't got a TARDIS handy…"

She trailed off again, the click of her long nails on the coordinate input filling the silence. After a few more clicks, she clapped her hands and said, "That should do it." Turning to the Doctor, she added, "Now don't come trying to follow me at those coordinates, sweetie. You wouldn't want to spoil yourself." And with that, she leaned forward and gave him a quick peck on the lips before pressing a button on her vortex manipulator, causing her to vanish into thin air, just as quickly as she had appeared.

Baffled, the Doctor stood unmoving for a long moment, until, out of the corner of his eye, he noticed Jamie watching him from the door. He looked similarly confused and surprised, but there was also an odd hint of amusement in his boyish features. Sniggering, he said, "You positive it isn't a snog box, Doctor?"

As the Time Lord felt blood rush to his cheeks in embarassment, he slapped his hand once more against the console, aggravated. Stamping his foot, almost childlike, he bellowed, "_It is NOT a snog box!"_


End file.
